Text A The First Four Minutes Ⅰ. Introductory Remarks When do people decide whether or not they want to become friends? According to Dr. Leonard Zunin, it is during the first four minutes they meet someone in a social situation. He also suggests that one should try to appear friendly and self-confident, interested and sympathetic when he is introduced to new people. Although it may be against one’s nature, a certain amount of play-acting may be best for the first few minutes of contact with strangers. His advice also applies to relationships with family members and friends. Ⅱ. Text-related Information The Essence of Good Manners Good manners have two aspects: an inner concern for other people’s needs and feelings, and an outer expression in certain kind of acts, by which our home training is often judged. If we have only the outer expressions it is like having the shell without the nut. The “nut” of good manners is thoughtfulness for others, and that just means applying the Golden Rule: treating others in the way that you would like to be treated. One aspect of this thoughtfulness is to dress and conduct oneself in as pleasing a manner as possible. The sight of tastefully dressed people with gracious manners adds a considerable amount of pleasure to everyday life. Whereas the absence of it is felt as a distinct lack and a source of discomfort and annoyance. The differences between good manners in China and good manners in the West, are sometimes great. So if one wants to get on well among Westerners, and make people feel comfortable in one’s presence, it is very important to learn good Western manners. Ⅲ. Detailed Study of the Text Words and Phrases: contact: n. communication; an instance of meeting e.g. He’s not had any contact with his son for months. There is very little contact between the two tribes. I’ve lost contact with most of my school friends. v. Are you still in contact with your old friends? I will contact you by telephone on Friday. be in contact with sb. make / have contact with sb. be out of / lose contact with sb. confident a. e.g. He’s confident that he will pass the exam. He’s confident of passing the exam. confidential a. 机密的 confidence n. 信心 be confident of sth. / doing sth. be confident in sb. have confidence in have confidence to do sth. 3. sympathetic a. e.g. My husband is very sympathetic with the man. She was sympathetic to my aims. sympathy n. sympathize v. be sympathetic with be sympathetic to sympathize with show one’s sympathy to 4. complain v. e.g. Mary is always complaining about something to me. Our neighbor said he would complain about us to the police if we made any more noise. complaint n. complainant n. complain about / of sth. to sb. make a complaint of sth. to sb. 5. impression n. e.g. What’s your impression of him? impress v. impressive a. impressionable a. 易受印象的 to have /get an impression of sb. 对某人有印象 to make /leave an impression on /upon sb. 给某人留下印象 require v. This suggestion requires careful thought. requirement n. required a. 所要求的 require sb. to do sth. 要求某人做某事 require of sth. 对…的要求 meet one’s requirement 符合某人的要求 cf. request 要求 acquire 获得, 得到 7. arise vi. (arose, arisen) begin to happen, appear or occur. e.g. A crisis has arisen in the Foreign Office. A new difficulty has arisen. Children should be disciplined when the need arises. Difficulties will arise when we do the work. cf. rise: to come or go upwards; reach a high or higher level or position e.g. smoke rising from the chimney The river has risen (by) several metres. claim v. to say that something is true; state as a fact e.g. He claimed that he saw the accident. He claimed to be the owner of the store. 9. habit: usually something someone does again and again, perhaps without realizing it e.g. He has an annoying habit of biting his nails When she is busy, her eating habits become irregular. cf. custom: usually something which has been done for a long time by a group – for example, a school, company, or society, perhaps every year e.g. the custom of holding exams in June a local custom cf. practice: the usual way of doing things in business, law, etc. e.g. The normal practice in this company is to send the bill as soon as the job is done. 10. according to: as stated by; in a way that agrees with e.g. According to George, she’s a great player. We are paid according to how much work we do. 11. keep (on) doing sth.: to continue doing something without stopping, or to do it repeatedly e.g. He keeps (on) trying to distract me. Don’t keep (on) asking silly questions. 12. look over: to direct one’s eyes over (something) e.g. The child was not tall enough to look over the wall. Our teacher had a way of looking over her glasses at us whenever we offered a silly answer. 13. as if/ as though: in a way that suggests that something is true or not true; with the appearance of e.g. You look as if you’ve had a good time. He behaved as if nothing had happened. 14. in general: usually or in most situations; as a whole e.g. I’m interested in European history in general. We’re trying to raise awareness about the environment in general and air pollution in particular. In general, her work has been very good. 15. in reply: when giving an answer (to); as an answer e.g. She just shrugged her shoulders in reply (to their questions). 16. become/be accustomed to: to become/be used to e.g. Her eyes quickly became accustomed to the dark. choose to do sth.: to decide which one of a number of things you want to do because it is the best or most suitable to you; to decide or prefer to do something or behave in a particular way e.g. He chose to learn German rather than French in school. We chose to ignore her rudeness. 17. deal with: to discuss; tell about; attend to e.g. Now let’s deal with the work of teaching. This book deals with questions about Political Economy. How can I deal with my work when you play that loud music? 18. get along with sb.: to have a comfortable or friendly relationship with sb./get on with sb. e.g. Do you get along with your boss? cf. Do you and your boss get along? Important and Difficult Sentences: 1. …to anyone interested in starting new friendships … …to anyone who is interested in making new friends… (be) interested in: showing curiosity or concern about something/someone e.g. The company is interested in selling its products overseas. She’s interested in starting her own business. cf. 1. appear interested (Para. 4) 2.to find someone more interesting in another part of the room. (Para. 2) interesting: holding the attention; causing curiosity 2. Every time you meet someone in a social situation, give him your undivided attention for four minutes. Whenever you meet someone in a social situation, give him your full/complete attention for four minutes. every time: whenever e.g. Every time I see him, he looks miserable. 3. He keeps looking over the other person’s shoulders, as if hoping to find someone more interesting in another part of the room. He continues looking over the other person’s shoulder in a way that suggests he is hoping to find someone more interesting in another part of the room. 4. If anyone has ever done this to you, you probably did not like him very much. If anyone has not given his complete attention to you, it is likely that you won’t like him very much 5. … we are too sure of ourselves. … we are too confident in our own opinion (and abilities) in a way that annoys other people. (Our showing-off will make other people feel annoyed.) 6. That’s not my nature. That’s not my character. / Giving the appearance of being friendly and self-confident is not my character. It would be dishonest for me to act that way. It would not be honest for me to pretend to be friendly and self-confident/ for me to appear in a friendly and self-confident way. In reply, Dr. Zunin would claim that a little practice can help us feel comfortable about changing our social habits. If Dr. Zunin were left to give an answer to this, he would say that a little practice can help us feel at ease about changing our social habits. 9. We can become accustomed to any changes we choose to make in our personality. We can become/ get used to any changes we decide to make in our personality. 10. It’s like getting used to a new car. It is similar in some way to getting used to a new car… It may be unfamiliar at first … At first you may not have knowledge or experience of the new car … “It” here refers to “the new car”. 12. There is a time for everything, and a certain amount of play-acting may be best for the first minutes of contact with a stranger. Things should be done at the proper time. When you are in contact with a stranger for the first few minutes, it may be best for you to give the appearance of being friendly and self-confident and pay full attention to the person you meet. play-acting: pretending; behaviour intended to hide your real thoughts and feelings In the text, “play-acting” refers to being friendly and self-confident. 13. Much of what has been said about strangers also applies to relationships with family members and friends. Much of what has been said about strangers also is true of/ also goes for relationships with family members and friends. …problems often arise during their first minutes together after they have been apart. …problems often begin to appear during the first four minutes when they meet again after they have been separated for some time. 15. Dr. Zunin suggests that these first few minutes together be treated with care, Dr. Zunin suggests that we should take care in treating these first few minutes. Note the verb form used in the that-clause. When followed by a that-clause, many verbs, such as propose, order, insist, demand, ask, request and recommend, can be used in this way. e.g. I demand that John go there at once. The Opposition are insisting that the Minister resign. In present-day English, however, various verb forms are possible, especially in an informal style. e.g. Her uncle suggests that she gets a job in a bank. He suggested that she got a job in a bank. The Opposition are insisting that the Minister resigns. 16. In his opinion, success in life depends mainly on how we get along with other people. Dr. Zunin believes that success in life relies, to a great/ large degree, on our relationship with other people. 17. That is at least as important as how much we know. How we get along with other people is no less important than how much we know. “That” refers to “how we get along with other people”. at least: no less than e.g. The repairs will cost at least twenty pounds. Ⅳ. Outline Para. 1 According to Dr. Zunin, the first four minutes is most important in a social situation.  Paras. 2-4 Dr. Zunin suggests what one should do during the first four minutes.  Paras. 5-7 The reasons for the play-acting given by Dr. Zunin.  Paras. 8-9 Interpersonal relations are one of the decisive elements of success.   Ⅴ. Summary of the Text According to Dr. Zunin, the first four minutes plays an important role in making new friends. However, some people do not usually pay enough attention to someone they first meet. When first introduced to a stranger, though we may feel uncomfortable at first, we should try to appear friendly and self-confident rather than too sure of ourselves. A little practice can help us feel confident about changing our social habits. We need not always be totally honest in our associations with strangers and should choose the right time for everything in our relationships with both strangers, family members and friends. In short, interpersonal relations is one of the decisive of success and should be regarded as a must in every school.